She remembers it all...

From the archives.

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She remembers it all, The people who said, 'They cared,' but did they really?

She remembers it all, The sound of laughter, How happy she'd been, but was she really?

She remembers it all, His arms around her, and He said, "I love you," but did he really?

She remembers it all, The pain she'd felt, when he left, How her heart ached, but did he really?

She remembers it all, The feeling of being so alone, The feeling that no one cared, but did they really?

But now they'll remember her, Staring at the knife in her hand, How easy to slit her wrists, but did she really?

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Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Steve Jobs has passed on. This is one bit of news that has shook the entire world. And yes, it is needless to say it shook me too. And made me very sad. Not that I had ever met Steve Jobs, or would have had any kind of opportunity to meet him; still the passing on has had a saddening effect.

Steve Jobs, as I will put it, was an American creative inventor, whose creativity made the ugly world of computers beautiful. He was synonymous with blue jeans and a black mock turtleneck. Under him, began one of the most amazingly creative and beautiful companies' - Apple Inc. He also served as the CEO of Pixar Animation Studios that made Hollywood movies such as Toy Story, Toy Story II, Finding Nemo, Ratatuille, and similar movies.

Listen to any of his launch speeches of Apple products'. He always had a WOW effect. Be it the launch of iPhone, iPod, or iPod Nano. Listen to them and you would have wanted to buy the products from him right there from his hands. My first Apple product was a gift from my better half - an iPod Nano (Special Edition), way back in 2006. iPhone 2G was next. And then, an iMac laptop for home. Love all these products.

I was reading an article in one of the leading newspapers, The Hindu, by Steve Jobs. "Death is likely the single best invention of Life." In this article he says,

"...for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and ask myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

How true! Just follow your heart and be passionate in whatever you do. As I've always said, 'love what you do, do what you love."

With the passing on of Steve Jobs, I am sure heaven will be a much beautiful place - technologically.

Steve, thanks for bringing in the change. By the way, did you know that he was a big fan of The Beatles? And that his car was a silver 2008 Mercedes SL 55 AMG, which does not display its license plates?

Encourage change

Change is one thing that is most difficult. However, change is also something that always remains 'constant.' With time, advancements and improvements are made to facilitate change. Here, in my amazing country, bringing about any kind of change is a bit difficult though. Not that it's not happening - change for good is surely happening. However, a bit slowly. More so because of the many deep-rooted pracitces that are given the name of traditions, out of which many are not valid in today's world / scenario anymore.

Though following some traditions are good - for example who would want a wedding without proper rituals and traditions? I wouldn't have at least. And in today's chilled-out generation (more or less), weddings are fun.

There are many other practices just passed on to the younger generation. Without the respected elder generation themselves understanding the rationale behind it. And behold! Don't you dare ask the reason behind doing something that has been passed on since generations. You'll be termed as someone who disrespects elders! I fail to understand all this. Maybe because of this, I am the black sheep in my household. I question practices (which I find invalid in today's scenario) that have been followed blindly over the generations. I try to tread gently though - with no intention of disrespecting anyone at all. Give me a solid rationale behind following something passed on since generations and I promise if I find it right, I'll follow it.

Consider an example. In India, new born babies were made to wear old clothes and not the new ones. In fact in many smaller towns, this is still followed. New born babies are made to wear old clothes. Ask many elders the reason behind it and they don't know it. "I don't know why, but what I know that it is been followed by generations." I'll tell why. Reason being that once upon a time each family had so many children - 5, 6, 8, or 10 at times. And at times, the next baby used to be born within a year of the previous baby. In those times, the earning member was only the husband. With such a big joint family to support, buying new clothes for so many children wasn't possible. Another reason being that once upon a time, new baby clothes were made of course/rough material & avoided. Therefore.

Now, that's not the case. Neither do the progressive Indians have more than two children, nor is there any shortage of options for soft baby clothes. And at times both husband and wife are earning. So, why follow something that is no longer valid?

In the past few days, I've been having this discussion at home about what is 'culture' and 'tradition'? Unfortunately, I have not been able to get any kind of appropriate response to it. The only answer I have been getting is culture is maintained & followed by marrying in the same community. Well, this is not a good enough response and something I don't understand.
And as per me, traditions are made by families. What is followed by one family, may not be followed by another. In today's scenario, with so many inter-religion and inter-state marriages happening in our country, it becomes even more important to accept the best of both communities.

However, there are times when elders don't want to listen or accept anything new. And that's the time, bringing about change becomes a bit difficult - not impossible though. Come on people, open your minds - encourage change.

Lunar Eclipse | More superstitions

15th June 2011. It's Lunar Eclipse. Another day when multiple superstitions are attached to it. In India, some of the popular superstitions are -

* Food cooked during the eclipse should be thrown away because it is impure.
* Pregnant women should not touch their belly during a lunar eclipse, else the baby will be born with a noticeable birthmark.
* Pregnant women should not cut anything, else the baby will be born with a cleft lip.
* If need be, pregnant women should not cook at all.

Again, these are superstitions passed on through generations because of the fear of the unknown or total ignorance. Most of the elders who pass on the superstitions are themselves ignorant about the facts behind the eclipse. There is no scientific reasons behind these superstitions.

I won't ever comply to these unwarranted superstitions.

Come on people, wake up!

Superstitions!

In India, superstitions are still strong in many households. Why only India, superstitions are prevalant in many other parts of the world too.

To begin with, what is superstition? Anybody? Well, as per me, superstitions are nothing but irrational beliefs arising from fear of the unknown or ignorance. Many common examples in India being if a black cat or in fact cat of any color (let's not discriminate now on the basis of color) crosses your path, people who are superstitious will go back few steps before proceeding further. Oh come on! It's just a poor cat wanting to gp from one place to another. What's the rationale behind this superstition? Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Shunya. Sunna.

Take another example. Milk should be boiled without covering it. Boiling the milk with the lid on is inauspicious. On asking how is it inauspicious, people following this superstition don't know the reason. It's just been followed blindly over by generations altogether. If you ask me, it's always better to cover the milk while boiling, because,
(1) milk is boiled quickly & therefore time is saved, &
(2) since the milk is boiled quickly, there is a saving in the gas too.

There are many more such examples, such as -

- Do not ever leave home without consulting an astrologer. Rahu and Ketu, two ominous planets, are waiting to ruin things for you. Wait for the shubh mahurat, based on the Hindu calendar. [Oh please! Is this possible? You may end up missing many of your important appointments or business.]

- A dog howling at night chills the blood – a portent of approaching death. [The dog may be having a severe stomach ache or maybe feeling lonely since you went on a vacation leaving your dog all alone locked up in the home.]

It's very difficult to get people who believe in supersttions blindly to change over a period of time or change them at all. They hold on to these superstitions so strongly because they are unaware of the reasons behind the "why."

Personally, I don't have any superstitions! If someone has a superstition, I try finding the rationale of it & have failed to find any valid rationale for the same. Just because people who follow these superstitions are themselves unaware of the reasons. And therefore, I don't believe in any superstitions.

The only way to eradicate superstitions is to educate people & increase awareness amongst them.

Are you superstitious too? Why don't you write to me about it & the rationale of your following the superstition?

Talk to me!

Things never to say to a woman

Few days back, I was reading this article that said few things men should never say to your woman.

If men always said what was on their mind, they probably wouldn't be saying lots of things that a woman would want to hear. It's not that men intentionally want to hurt their women, but let's face it, men can be quite insensitive at times and say things that might seem innocuous but can be downright hurtful, insulting, or both.

Okay, let's be fair to all men, in general. The intentions may not be rude or insulting. But at times what men says and what women hear may be totally different things.

Take an example. A man says to his wife, "Sweetheart, you're looking amazing tonight." On the face of it, this is a plain compliment by the man to his wife. However, does the wife see it that way too? Maybe no. Possible response, "What do you mean by 'today'? Don't I look amazing everyday?"

There were two things that I found to be really true were -

1- Whatever you decide is okay with me
Try saying this to your woman when you really don't mean it. In case you tell your woman to decide and then then knock down whatever she decides, then that is nothing but a recipe for a dangerous disaster.

Want an example? Look at the following example -

She: Where should we go on a vacation for our anniversary?
You: I leave the decicion on you this time. Just let me know where you want to go & we'll go there.
She: Let's go to a place in Rajasthan named Kalakho. I've been wanting to go there for ages.
You: What?! Kalakho in Rajasthan?? Oh please, anywhere else.
She: Oh ok. How about Muunar then?
You: No, no, too far off.
She: Coorg then? It's very picturesque!!
You: Coorg? What's there to see in Coorg? What's happened to your choices?
She: *What the heck!$%* followed by a 15 minute blah blah blah which you entirely deserve but are still wondering what you did to instigate!

Therefore, if you are not willing to do anything she wants you to do, don't tell her to decide.

2- I love you
Surprised to find this one in a list of things you should NEVER say to a woman? Well... Whatever you say, say it only if you mean it. If you don't mean it from the bottom of your heart, don't say it. Avoid saying it just because you think your woman wants to hear it.

Can you change anyone...

... till the person is willing to change from within? In most cases, the answer will be no.

Take for example one of my colleagues in one of my previous organizations'. We were into a high pressure project & had stringent deadlines. We had jokes that there's time to reach office, but no time to go back home OR if someone left in the evening as per office timing, then that person was leaving during half day! Now coming back to this person - let's name the person X. X would, by default, leave by 6 or 6:30 PM everyday. Even though there was work left. And X would, by default, go on unplanned leaves during the fag-end of the project, specially when the presence was required. All of X's work would then land on me. This was explained that this is not the right attitude towards work & change has to be there. All of it fell on deaf ears! We could not change X's attitude. Why? Just because X did not want to change.

Take another example. Someone I knew was married to a guy who flirted a lot with many women. And mind you, this was unhealthy flirting that he used to do. Initially, the wife didn't give much of a thought. Then when the unhealthy flirting did not stop & complaints were flowing in, the wife finally spoke with the husband. It did not help. It continued to such an extent that the husband wife separated. This could have been avoided only if the husband was 'willing' to change.

The willingness to change needs to be from within a person. No matter how much love, quarrel, politeness, sarcasm, or trying to show the reason - till the other person is unwilling to change, change cannot happen.

Hi... I am back.

It's been quite some time since I wrote my blog. Quite some reasons for not coming back to my blog; however, the strongest being that I didn't have anything much worthwhile sharing.

What's happening nowadays? Well, it's been four months now since I am on sabbatical. Mix of emotions around this sabbatical. Happy in a way because (1) not many people get a chance to be on a sabbatical in their careers & if I have got a chance after nearly 10 years of work, it's a good thing. (2) I get to do things, which I couldn't do when I was working due to the time factor. (3) Relax.

However, this sabbatical has it's downside too. Most prominent one is when the continuous flow of money stops. The first month after leaving work when salary is not credited, pinches. Then, with so much of free time, I kinda got lost as to what to do. And then if I do not pick up projects on an on & off basis, I know I'm in a risky proposition of forgetting things easily. And yes, I am missing the office life!

So, what have I decided? I decided that the sabbatical won't last beyond 2/2.5 years.

What else? On a lighter note, the last movie I watched was a movie named 'Game' few weeks back. The media critics had actually trashed this movie left, right, and center. Print media gave it 1 to 1.5 stars out of 5. But on watching the movie, it wasn't that bad. Yes, there are some very basic crime solving techniques they had shown; however, overall it was an average movie. Not trashy. 2.5 out of 5 stars maybe. Small concern with one of the stars though. Abhishek Bachchan looks too arrogant. Every time. Arrogant for what - don't know. The Bachchan last name? Well...

There's a wedding soon that I'll be attending. After ages. There hasn't been weddings that we went to in the last 1.5 or 2 years. So, it'll be a good change.

Well, nothing much otherwise. Will write back again soon.

...

Hi again. I was going through my book of poetry few days back and was amazed what all I used to write! Well, it was mostly a bit sad stuff - as I used to write earlier when I was very sad... And the words used to flow. One of the poems...

You see the pain in her eyes,
But alas, her eyes are dry,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...

You see the anger that burns from her gaze,
The madness that sets you ablaze,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...

You see the the fear that closes her eyes,
The smile she wears, is but a disguise,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...

Yo see death's hand that has glazed her eyes,
No one has seen her die inside,
They won't cry,
No, they won't cry...