Can you change anyone...

... till the person is willing to change from within? In most cases, the answer will be no.

Take for example one of my colleagues in one of my previous organizations'. We were into a high pressure project & had stringent deadlines. We had jokes that there's time to reach office, but no time to go back home OR if someone left in the evening as per office timing, then that person was leaving during half day! Now coming back to this person - let's name the person X. X would, by default, leave by 6 or 6:30 PM everyday. Even though there was work left. And X would, by default, go on unplanned leaves during the fag-end of the project, specially when the presence was required. All of X's work would then land on me. This was explained that this is not the right attitude towards work & change has to be there. All of it fell on deaf ears! We could not change X's attitude. Why? Just because X did not want to change.

Take another example. Someone I knew was married to a guy who flirted a lot with many women. And mind you, this was unhealthy flirting that he used to do. Initially, the wife didn't give much of a thought. Then when the unhealthy flirting did not stop & complaints were flowing in, the wife finally spoke with the husband. It did not help. It continued to such an extent that the husband wife separated. This could have been avoided only if the husband was 'willing' to change.

The willingness to change needs to be from within a person. No matter how much love, quarrel, politeness, sarcasm, or trying to show the reason - till the other person is unwilling to change, change cannot happen.