Few days back, I was reading this article that said few things men should never say to your woman.
If men always said what was on their mind, they probably wouldn't be saying lots of things that a woman would want to hear. It's not that men intentionally want to hurt their women, but let's face it, men can be quite insensitive at times and say things that might seem innocuous but can be downright hurtful, insulting, or both.
Okay, let's be fair to all men, in general. The intentions may not be rude or insulting. But at times what men says and what women hear may be totally different things.
Take an example. A man says to his wife, "Sweetheart, you're looking amazing tonight." On the face of it, this is a plain compliment by the man to his wife. However, does the wife see it that way too? Maybe no. Possible response, "What do you mean by 'today'? Don't I look amazing everyday?"
There were two things that I found to be really true were -
1- Whatever you decide is okay with me
Try saying this to your woman when you really don't mean it. In case you tell your woman to decide and then then knock down whatever she decides, then that is nothing but a recipe for a dangerous disaster.
Want an example? Look at the following example -
She: Where should we go on a vacation for our anniversary?
You: I leave the decicion on you this time. Just let me know where you want to go & we'll go there.
She: Let's go to a place in Rajasthan named Kalakho. I've been wanting to go there for ages.
You: What?! Kalakho in Rajasthan?? Oh please, anywhere else.
She: Oh ok. How about Muunar then?
You: No, no, too far off.
She: Coorg then? It's very picturesque!!
You: Coorg? What's there to see in Coorg? What's happened to your choices?
She: *What the heck!$%* followed by a 15 minute blah blah blah which you entirely deserve but are still wondering what you did to instigate!
Therefore, if you are not willing to do anything she wants you to do, don't tell her to decide.
2- I love you
Surprised to find this one in a list of things you should NEVER say to a woman? Well... Whatever you say, say it only if you mean it. If you don't mean it from the bottom of your heart, don't say it. Avoid saying it just because you think your woman wants to hear it.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Can you change anyone...
... till the person is willing to change from within? In most cases, the answer will be no.
Take for example one of my colleagues in one of my previous organizations'. We were into a high pressure project & had stringent deadlines. We had jokes that there's time to reach office, but no time to go back home OR if someone left in the evening as per office timing, then that person was leaving during half day! Now coming back to this person - let's name the person X. X would, by default, leave by 6 or 6:30 PM everyday. Even though there was work left. And X would, by default, go on unplanned leaves during the fag-end of the project, specially when the presence was required. All of X's work would then land on me. This was explained that this is not the right attitude towards work & change has to be there. All of it fell on deaf ears! We could not change X's attitude. Why? Just because X did not want to change.
Take another example. Someone I knew was married to a guy who flirted a lot with many women. And mind you, this was unhealthy flirting that he used to do. Initially, the wife didn't give much of a thought. Then when the unhealthy flirting did not stop & complaints were flowing in, the wife finally spoke with the husband. It did not help. It continued to such an extent that the husband wife separated. This could have been avoided only if the husband was 'willing' to change.
The willingness to change needs to be from within a person. No matter how much love, quarrel, politeness, sarcasm, or trying to show the reason - till the other person is unwilling to change, change cannot happen.
Take for example one of my colleagues in one of my previous organizations'. We were into a high pressure project & had stringent deadlines. We had jokes that there's time to reach office, but no time to go back home OR if someone left in the evening as per office timing, then that person was leaving during half day! Now coming back to this person - let's name the person X. X would, by default, leave by 6 or 6:30 PM everyday. Even though there was work left. And X would, by default, go on unplanned leaves during the fag-end of the project, specially when the presence was required. All of X's work would then land on me. This was explained that this is not the right attitude towards work & change has to be there. All of it fell on deaf ears! We could not change X's attitude. Why? Just because X did not want to change.
Take another example. Someone I knew was married to a guy who flirted a lot with many women. And mind you, this was unhealthy flirting that he used to do. Initially, the wife didn't give much of a thought. Then when the unhealthy flirting did not stop & complaints were flowing in, the wife finally spoke with the husband. It did not help. It continued to such an extent that the husband wife separated. This could have been avoided only if the husband was 'willing' to change.
The willingness to change needs to be from within a person. No matter how much love, quarrel, politeness, sarcasm, or trying to show the reason - till the other person is unwilling to change, change cannot happen.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hi... I am back.
It's been quite some time since I wrote my blog. Quite some reasons for not coming back to my blog; however, the strongest being that I didn't have anything much worthwhile sharing.
What's happening nowadays? Well, it's been four months now since I am on sabbatical. Mix of emotions around this sabbatical. Happy in a way because (1) not many people get a chance to be on a sabbatical in their careers & if I have got a chance after nearly 10 years of work, it's a good thing. (2) I get to do things, which I couldn't do when I was working due to the time factor. (3) Relax.
However, this sabbatical has it's downside too. Most prominent one is when the continuous flow of money stops. The first month after leaving work when salary is not credited, pinches. Then, with so much of free time, I kinda got lost as to what to do. And then if I do not pick up projects on an on & off basis, I know I'm in a risky proposition of forgetting things easily. And yes, I am missing the office life!
So, what have I decided? I decided that the sabbatical won't last beyond 2/2.5 years.
What else? On a lighter note, the last movie I watched was a movie named 'Game' few weeks back. The media critics had actually trashed this movie left, right, and center. Print media gave it 1 to 1.5 stars out of 5. But on watching the movie, it wasn't that bad. Yes, there are some very basic crime solving techniques they had shown; however, overall it was an average movie. Not trashy. 2.5 out of 5 stars maybe. Small concern with one of the stars though. Abhishek Bachchan looks too arrogant. Every time. Arrogant for what - don't know. The Bachchan last name? Well...
There's a wedding soon that I'll be attending. After ages. There hasn't been weddings that we went to in the last 1.5 or 2 years. So, it'll be a good change.
Well, nothing much otherwise. Will write back again soon.
What's happening nowadays? Well, it's been four months now since I am on sabbatical. Mix of emotions around this sabbatical. Happy in a way because (1) not many people get a chance to be on a sabbatical in their careers & if I have got a chance after nearly 10 years of work, it's a good thing. (2) I get to do things, which I couldn't do when I was working due to the time factor. (3) Relax.
However, this sabbatical has it's downside too. Most prominent one is when the continuous flow of money stops. The first month after leaving work when salary is not credited, pinches. Then, with so much of free time, I kinda got lost as to what to do. And then if I do not pick up projects on an on & off basis, I know I'm in a risky proposition of forgetting things easily. And yes, I am missing the office life!
So, what have I decided? I decided that the sabbatical won't last beyond 2/2.5 years.
What else? On a lighter note, the last movie I watched was a movie named 'Game' few weeks back. The media critics had actually trashed this movie left, right, and center. Print media gave it 1 to 1.5 stars out of 5. But on watching the movie, it wasn't that bad. Yes, there are some very basic crime solving techniques they had shown; however, overall it was an average movie. Not trashy. 2.5 out of 5 stars maybe. Small concern with one of the stars though. Abhishek Bachchan looks too arrogant. Every time. Arrogant for what - don't know. The Bachchan last name? Well...
There's a wedding soon that I'll be attending. After ages. There hasn't been weddings that we went to in the last 1.5 or 2 years. So, it'll be a good change.
Well, nothing much otherwise. Will write back again soon.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
...
Hi again. I was going through my book of poetry few days back and was amazed what all I used to write! Well, it was mostly a bit sad stuff - as I used to write earlier when I was very sad... And the words used to flow. One of the poems...
You see the pain in her eyes,
But alas, her eyes are dry,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...
You see the anger that burns from her gaze,
The madness that sets you ablaze,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...
You see the the fear that closes her eyes,
The smile she wears, is but a disguise,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...
Yo see death's hand that has glazed her eyes,
No one has seen her die inside,
They won't cry,
No, they won't cry...
You see the pain in her eyes,
But alas, her eyes are dry,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...
You see the anger that burns from her gaze,
The madness that sets you ablaze,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...
You see the the fear that closes her eyes,
The smile she wears, is but a disguise,
She won't cry,
No, she won't cry...
Yo see death's hand that has glazed her eyes,
No one has seen her die inside,
They won't cry,
No, they won't cry...
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Christmas! I bought & decorated a Christmas tree this time. A bit expensive, but boy! Does it loo beautiful. Yesterday on Christmas, we went to our friends' place for Christmas get together. There were so many people who had come in for this get together. It was good to go & meet them.
The couple friends who were hosting this had invited their photography shoot group. There were around 15 people - all enjoying this party! Good for them.
It seems people are having two different images. They want to do everything such as heavy drinking and smoking; however, they want to depict a clean image in front of their elders too. "Oh, I don't want to drink, my parents are around. What will they think? I have a very clean image in front of them." Oh, come on!
My hubby & I were a bit left out though - as we didn't know most of the people who had come in for this party. Four people at the max whom we would have met once or twice earlier & that's about it. And out of these four, we had helped one when her car had broken down - I don't think she still recognized us! Others were totally new & strangers for us. And they acted as strangers. One of the people who came in with his wife - walked in - one by one said hello to all - and by the time I stood up to introduce, he just walked past me - & so did his wife - and started meeting others. I felt as if I were invisible! Or felt like vanishing from there at that very moment! The only thing common between these party people & us was that we also attended the same photography class as them. Nothing else.
We started from the friends place around 12:30 AM & returned home around 1 AM. Took us 30 minutes to reach our home for a distance that takes no more than 5 minutes! And why? Just because it was very very foggy and zero visibility! It was so very difficult to see what was there in front of us or which side we were going. Very difficult drive it was!
Nothing much otherwise. Keep fit & be a hit!
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Legend Lives On
Even after passing away, Michael Jackson as a legend lives on.
On March 16, 2010, Sony Music Entertainment signed a new deal with the Jackson estate to extend their distribution rights to his back catalogue until at least 2017, as well as to obtain permission to release ten new albums with previously unreleased material and new collections of released work. On November 4th, 2010 Sony announced the release of "Michael," the first posthumous album set to be released on the 14th of December 2010, with the first single release on November 8, entitled "Breaking News". The deal was unprecedented in the music industry as it is the most expensive music contract pertaining to a single artist in history; it reportedly involved Sony Music paying $250 million for the deal, with the Jackson estate getting the full sum as well as its share of royalties for all works released.
What do I think about it? Honestly, I don't know. I really don't know. Will I buy this new albun? As of now, no. I did hear 'Breaking News' on Michael's website - pained me so much that I couldn't go beyond a quarter of the song.
The work is essentially unreleased work of Michael. If the songs were not a part of the albums initially, it means they were not supposed to be released. And Michael must have given a lot of thought & brainstormed around which songs are the best of the best to be released. Why then? Is it all because of the money? People around him earned when he was alive, many more people are earning when he's gone.
Very few people in recent history have such "charisma" to lead and Michael was one of them.
On March 16, 2010, Sony Music Entertainment signed a new deal with the Jackson estate to extend their distribution rights to his back catalogue until at least 2017, as well as to obtain permission to release ten new albums with previously unreleased material and new collections of released work. On November 4th, 2010 Sony announced the release of "Michael," the first posthumous album set to be released on the 14th of December 2010, with the first single release on November 8, entitled "Breaking News". The deal was unprecedented in the music industry as it is the most expensive music contract pertaining to a single artist in history; it reportedly involved Sony Music paying $250 million for the deal, with the Jackson estate getting the full sum as well as its share of royalties for all works released.
What do I think about it? Honestly, I don't know. I really don't know. Will I buy this new albun? As of now, no. I did hear 'Breaking News' on Michael's website - pained me so much that I couldn't go beyond a quarter of the song.
The work is essentially unreleased work of Michael. If the songs were not a part of the albums initially, it means they were not supposed to be released. And Michael must have given a lot of thought & brainstormed around which songs are the best of the best to be released. Why then? Is it all because of the money? People around him earned when he was alive, many more people are earning when he's gone.
Very few people in recent history have such "charisma" to lead and Michael was one of them.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Karwa Chauth
The fast of Karwa Chauth is of particular importance to all Hindu married women in India. They believe that the festival ensures prosperity, longevity, and overal well-being of their husbands.
The origin of this festival was based on a very sweet and noble idea. Though this idea has lost its true sense as today the whole outlook of this festival has changed.
In the ancient time, girls used to get married at a very early stage, and had to go and live with their in-laws in other villages. After marriage, if she faces any problem with her in-laws or her husband, she would have no one to talk to or seek support from. There used to be no telephones, buses and trains long ago. Her own parents and relatives would be quite far and unreachable. Thus the custom started that, at the time of marriage, when bride would reach her in-laws, she would befriend another woman there who would be her friend or sister for life. It would be like god-friends or god-sisters. Their friendship would be sanctified through a small Hindu ceremony right during the marriage.
Once the bride and this woman had become god-friends or god-sisters, they would remain so all their lives and recognize the relation as such. They would also treat each other like real sisters.
Later in life, if she faces any difficulty related to her husband or in-laws, she would be able to confidently talk or seek help from each other. Thus, Karwa Chauth was started to as a festival to celebrate this relationship between the once-brides and their god-friends (god-sisters). Fasting and praying for husband came later and is secondary. It was probably added, along with other mythical tales, to enhance the festival. The husband would always be associated with this festival, because the day of starting this holy friendship between two god-sisters was essentially the day of bride's marriage to him. Thus, praying and fasting for him by his wife during a celebration of her relationship with the god-friend would be quite logical.
Hence, the festival of Karwa Chauth was to renew and celebrate the relationship between god-friends (god-sisters). It had a tremendous social and cultural significance when world was not having the way to communicate and move around easily.
In the ancient time, girls used to get married at a very early stage, and had to go and live with their in-laws in other villages. After marriage, if she faces any problem with her in-laws or her husband, she would have no one to talk to or seek support from. There used to be no telephones, buses and trains long ago. Her own parents and relatives would be quite far and unreachable. Thus the custom started that, at the time of marriage, when bride would reach her in-laws, she would befriend another woman there who would be her friend or sister for life. It would be like god-friends or god-sisters. Their friendship would be sanctified through a small Hindu ceremony right during the marriage.
Once the bride and this woman had become god-friends or god-sisters, they would remain so all their lives and recognize the relation as such. They would also treat each other like real sisters.
Later in life, if she faces any difficulty related to her husband or in-laws, she would be able to confidently talk or seek help from each other. Thus, Karwa Chauth was started to as a festival to celebrate this relationship between the once-brides and their god-friends (god-sisters). Fasting and praying for husband came later and is secondary. It was probably added, along with other mythical tales, to enhance the festival. The husband would always be associated with this festival, because the day of starting this holy friendship between two god-sisters was essentially the day of bride's marriage to him. Thus, praying and fasting for him by his wife during a celebration of her relationship with the god-friend would be quite logical.
Hence, the festival of Karwa Chauth was to renew and celebrate the relationship between god-friends (god-sisters). It had a tremendous social and cultural significance when world was not having the way to communicate and move around easily.
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